


Kitten

by RonniRotten



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad boy saves a kitten in a tree and the protag falls for him, Cancer, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Medicinal Drug Use, Minor Character Death, do not copy to other sites
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-10-25 14:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonniRotten/pseuds/RonniRotten
Summary: Patton is a bit of a goody-goody, and he knows that it's not much of a good thing, especially after falsely accusing a certain snake of some heavy stuff. Ethan, a resident goth with anarchist tendencies who goes by "Deceit" and not by choice, isn't as bad as Patton thought. In fact he might be the delinquent of the two. And maybe just maybe he's falling for the soft boy in a band.





	1. Raining

There he was, the slippery snake, sitting in the back of the classroom with his legs kicked up on the chair in front of him—at Patton's desk. His skinny-jean clad legs were crossed smugly and his hands were folded behind his head. Patton groaned internally, never letting his smile fall as he approached the desk. He set his bag down and waited for the other to remove his feet.

"Mind if I have my seat back?" Patton asked after a moment. The other blinked slowly and shook his head, a stupid smirk gracing his handsome features.

"Depends, are you going to accuse me of smoking pot again?" he asked, examining his gloved hand. It took a lot of restraint on Patton's part to keep from snapping at the vested delinquent.

"I could smell it on you." Patton frowned, glaring at the yellow Doc Marten's resting on his chair.

"You don't even know what it smells like."

"Yeah I do. Why are you denying it, Deceit?"

"That's not my name. I wouldn't be here if I were. Thanks to you I underwent a charming interrogation and a few drug tests. And they found nothing."

"Move your feet!" Patton growled, red from embarrassment. Deceit chuckled and lowered one leg.

"Both of them." Patton hissed as the classroom filled up.

"Oh I'm sorry I thought I'd give you another boot to lick." he jeered and lowered his other leg. Patton sat down with a huff and ignored the stupid snicker Deceit let out. He didn't have the time or patience to deal with him.

Thank goodness it was the last class of the day!

* * *

Ethan sighed to himself when the last bell rang. It had started raining and he was not looking forward to walking home. At least his cousin could escape the downpour with his stage crew activities. Still, Ethan would rather die than sit through play rehearsal.

He watched the others file out, not at all surprised that Patton lingered. He didn't mind, it gave him a chance to get a good look at the cute little goody-goody. His wavy golden brown hair was always neatly combed, though it bounced when he walked. He was short and stout, with an adorable tummy and the cutest dusting of freckles on his face. His smile made Ethan's heart race and he had no idea.

Once Patton was out the door, Ethan sighed and pulled his jacket on. He was thankful he chose the long cotton coat with a hood that morning. He got up and slowly made his way to his locker, not at all fazed by the crowd. Sure he was a little disheartened when he saw no one was at his locker, not Virgil, or his bestie, Remington aka Remy.

He grabbed his books, stowed them in his shoulder bag, and trudged down the hall toward the exit. It was going to be a delightful walk home.

* * *

"C'mon Ro, you want to go out with him, why don't you start up a conversation?" Patton argued with Roman at his locker. Roman shut the door and sighed, 

"Padre, he's Remus' best friend. You know what Remus is like—I'm amazed he got Logan to go out with him!" 

"Logan and Remus?" Patton gawked, unable to wrap his head around the idea that the serious nerd who was as straight-laced as they come was in good standing, much less a relationship, with the chaotic, horny nightmare. 

"I know, right!? Logan isn't the type but it happened and their happy together. I'm the romantic twin, why don't I have the man of my dreams?" Roman whined and slumped against the cold metal, pressing his cheek into the grate. 

"Because Remus made an effort. He took a risk, he's good at that. Virge is just shy about that kind of stuff, you have to take action." Patton pouted and twirled the closed umbrella around his wrist. 

"Maybe you're right," Roman sighed and righted himself, "here's hoping Remus is fully distracted by anyone else." 

"Tell me how it goes, Ro. I'll see you tomorrow." Patton grinned and waved as he left. Roman bowed and scurried off in the opposite direction. Patton believed in him. 

Patton wandered through the empty hallway, letting his bubbly personality slip. He would go home and probably flop on the couch and cuddle his pets–Gizmo might crush him but he was a good calm boy, and Lottie would purr curled to his chest. Maybe if it stopped raining he could roll a blunt and thank the doctors for his prescription. Not that he enjoyed using it all that often. 

The second he stepped outside, however, he knew it wasn't the best day for a few hits. The rain was coming down, and the winds had picked up a bit. He opened his umbrella and made his way down the street. 

The green from the grass and leaves was more vibrant from the storm, but the dreary crying sky only made him sad. The constant pattering on his umbrella beat down on his weary soul and seemingly nothing would bring his mood up.

"C'mon, it's okay." he heard up ahead. Patton scanned the area and spotted a familiar pair of yellow boots. Great. What was he doing in that tree?

"That's it, easy does it. I won't hurt you." he cooed, drawing Patton in as well. Patton inched closer, but stayed at a reasonable distance. 

"Good baby, let's get you all bundled up here." he cooed, "Shhh, shh, it's okay. You're doing so good. Alright. I promise you'll be okay, but you have to stay calm." And then Ethan climbed down, his long coat whipping in the breeze, cuddling a bundled orange kitten to his bare chest. 

"You're doing so well, Love. Let's get you washed up and fed you poor thing." he cooed and gently scratched the kitten under the chin. And then he looked up and scowled. 

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make this look like a crime. Try not to." he said and spun on his heels to go the rest of the way home. He didn't get very far.

"Wait!" Patton gasped and hurried over to shield them both with his umbrella.

"My place is less than a block away and we have a lot of cat stuff." 

"Showing the vile delinquent where you live? How foolish of you Patton." Ethan droned and scratched the kitten's head. Patton pouted. 

"I'm trying to help. If you'd rather keep the poor thing in the rain longer, be my guest." Patton huffed.

"I'll humor you in your lapse of judgement." Ethan jeered and held the kitten closer to him. He wasn't about to admit that Patton had a point but he wouldn't deny such an offer. Patton rolled his eyes and led the way to his house. Occasionally he would spare Ethan a glance, and he internally squealed. Ethan was just babying the kitten and cooing at it. 

He had to focus, Patton couldn't let his guard down just because Ethan was being cute with a kitten. He was being very cute, and Patton was not blind. The boy had such a pretty face, a smirk that could burn hotter than the sun, and deep mismatched eyes—E was hot, and Patton loathed to admit it. 

Walking up the pathway lined with lavender, Patton brought Ethan to his empty house, and led him inside. They wandered past the living area full of family photos and a docile black lab, sleeping in his bed. 

"You can set the little scamp in here." Patton said and shrugged off his backpack. Ethan carefully set the kitten in the left sink and scratched the top of its head to keep it calm before tossing his vest through the door into the back yard and setting his satchel by the table. Instead of gawking at the shirtless hot guy in a long coat standing in his kitchen, Patton turned on the water, letting it warm up on the right side. The poor kitten was not going to have a good time. 


	2. Thunder

"There we go!" Patton chuckled softly as he dried the washed and combed kitten. He took the brunt of the scratches, while Ethan was subjected to all the splashes. But the threat of fleas was gone so it was worth it. 

"I don't suppose you're going to let me take the kitten home now, are you?" Ethan asked, longing for a dry pair of clothes. He glanced out the glass door and frowned at the storm outside. Patton bundled the kitten in a warm towel and shook his head.

"This place is flea resistant and it's pouring. I would be worried if you leave in this! You'll get sick!" Patton said and looked at Ethan, finally. That was a mistake on his part. 

"I'll get sick if I stay here, dripping on the floor." he huffed. Patton gave him a once over (to gauge his clothing size and nothing else, that's what he told himself) and nodded. Despite the obvious differences in style and overall edginess, Patton had just the thing for him to wear. 

"Cuddle with Ducy for a minute and I'll be right back!" Patton said, handing over the kitten. He raced out of sight before Ethan could question the name. Instead he looked down into those tired, curious eyes and sighed.

"Not to worry, I doubt that name will stick. We don't even know if you'll have to stand to pee." The kitten blinked slowly at him and purred.

"We can check after you go to sleep. You must be so very tired after such an adventure." he chuckled and hummed softly, "And as soon as this storm lets up, I'll bring you home and get you settled in." Ethan hummed and swayed slightly to ease the kitty, "A wild predator like you needs a far more suitable home—without any dogs." 

The kitten purred and nuzzled into his palm. He giggled, unaware that Patton had returned in a fresh pair of sweats and a tee with a werewolf on it, carrying another set for Ethan. Patton blushed lightly at the sound, it was adorable. 

"Hey, I'll trade you." he coughed and held out the clothing, "The bathroom is down the hall on the left. There's a drying rack in there for Dad's binders you can use until the storm lets up." Ethan carefully placed the kitten in Patton's arms and took the clothes. Without a word he slunk out of sight to change. 

"Well," Patton sighed and cuddled the tiny bundle to his chest, "I never thought I'd see the day Deceit being soft. You might not know it, but he's a tough guy who gets sassy, really sassy. He doesn't like me much but that's okay. I've gotten him in trouble enough when he did nothing wrong, but I thought he did and I made me look like a jerk. It's hard to admit I'm wrong without getting depressed, it's even harder when I only get sass in return." 

The kitten yawned and stared at him with the most innocent and curious expression. Patton's face melted into a soft smile and he gently rocked the kitten and sighed. She was too precious—yes, she, Patton figured it out when he was washing her.

He carried her into the next room where Lottie was napping on her scratching post. The black cat in question was on her perch glaring at the kitten—this wasn't the first time she had an intruder in her home. At least Gizmo was good with kittens. Patton stared her down as he took a seat on the couch where Ethan would be able to see his profile.

"I think you're going to like it here until we can find a forever home for you, Medusa." Patton hummed softly, unaware that Ethan had returned. 

"Medusa?" he questioned, alerting Patton of his presence. Patton winced and turned his head to the source of the noise. Okay it was just not fair that he could look so cute with messy hair and lazy clothes. 

"Yeah, when I figured out she was a little miss I couldn't leave her nameless. I think it's a good name for her." Patton responded almost defensively. 

"Who would have thought you would name something so adorable after a supposed monster from Greek mythology." Ethan jeered and crossed his arms. Patton pouted. 

"Medusa was a symbol women used to identify sanctuaries. She was a priestess who was dealt a bad hand because she was pretty. Don't call her a monster." 

"I said 'supposed' for a reason, Patton. Please do pay attention." Ethan droned, "I'm surprised you didn't go with something more Christian." 

"I'm a good Christian but I'm not obsessive." Patton glanced out the window and pouted at the downpour that didn't look like it would let up soon, "Might as well have a seat. You're gonna be here a while." 

"Oh goody!" Ethan deadpanned and plopped down next to him, "I'm stuck in the home of my most obnoxious antagonist with nothing to do." 

"Homework." Patton bristled as a clap of thunder rolled across the sky. Ethan eyed him thoughtfully and shrugged. 

"I finished it all. Surprise, even reading the book for English. A tragedy really." 

"Well we can watch tv or play Injustice." Patton suggested, "I'm sure it'll be real fun to beat up your antagonist over and over with no consequences." 

"That stung, didn't it?" Ethan mused, "But that's exactly what you are to me, not a villain or a constant enemy, just a person who opposes me for existing. You aren't the only one, just the loudest." 

"Well you don't have to be so blunt about it. Especially as a guest." Patton grumbled low, alerting Lottie that he needed cuddles. The black cat got up to help, even if the kitten was in her way.

"I was under the impression that you were holding me captive." Ethan retorted as the black cat leaped onto his lap and kneaded his pants. 

"I don't want you to get sick in the storm, and I refuse to let Medusa out in that rain again." Patton argued and cuddled the orange fluff ball to his chest. Ethan idly stroked Lottie and stared at him. Something was off about the bespectacled cutie and he was struggling to place it.

"Funny, from what I heard, you don't intend to let me take her home anyway." Ethan chuckled, making Patton flinch.

"Okay so I just don't want you to get sick. I made you miss enough class as is and I don't want to be the reason you miss more." Patton admitted and got up to put Medusa onto a cat pillow near the scratching post.

"How very considerate. It's almost as if you see me as a person beyond your preconceived notions." 

"Why are you being such a jerk when I'm trying to be nice?" Patton huffed and set Medusa down and righted himself. Ethan could tell he was getting agitated but he expected that, no one likes to hear the ugly truth.

"Because it's all a courtesy," Ethan scoffed, "If I we were in school or on the street you wouldn't give me the time of day." Patton marched over and stood in front of him with his hands balled at his sides. Ooh he was not taking this lying down! 

"Because you would never ask. Don't pretend you aren't judging me just as much." Patton hissed. At that, Lottie leapt off Ethan's lap and hurried to her scratching post, knowing something was brewing.

"Oh no, I know I'm judging you. You're the preppy brown-noser who points out other people's supposed wrongdoings to feel better about your own insignificance in a society that will destroy you. You wouldn't break your own silly rules much less, the man's."

Patton had no idea what he was doing when he snapped and swiftly pinned Ethan to the couch. He had a good clue when he snatched Ethan's chin and stole his lips. But when he kissed back and wrapped his arms around Patton's waist, Ethan stole away all reason. 

Patton pulled back with a gasp and wide eyes. Ethan was staring at him with the most stunned and dazed expression. Throw in the dusting of red on his cheeks and Patton was ready to kiss him again. But he didn't. He was frozen on the spot with the realization that he kissed someone who probably didn't want to be kissed, and that someone was the hot pain in the ass who drove him nuts.

"I stand corrected," Ethan's usual smugness returned in full, "But I have to wonder, if you did that out of spite or because you find me irresistible." he jeered. Patton grabbed the front of his shirt with a low growl. 

"It was to shut you up!" 

"Mm it didn't work. Care to try again?" Ethan purred. He knew exactly what he was getting into and he couldn't fight back a smirk when Patton snarled and dragged him back in. 


	3. Dilemma

Patton did not want to get out of bed. After making out with Deceit of all people, and pushing him out the door the second the storm passed, he wasn't sure how he was going to survive the day. But the soft purring feline sitting on his face made him get up. 

Lottie was not happy about the guest in the house and she was bent on making Patton pay for this offense. And that's why he wound up at school, dressed in a get up to rival Virge. 

And that's exactly who had to sit next to him first period. It was quite a shock to see the usually preppy student in a hoodie and jeans much less with a beanie and gloves.

"Hey Pat, what's up?" Virgil asked as he sat down next to him. Patton blinked and smiled meekly at him.

"Hey Virge." 

"Woah! What's with the eyeliner?" Virgil jolted slightly.

"I always wear eyeliner, it's just really noticable today. I was in a hurry this morning. But that's what happens when you wake up with a face full of puss." 

"Please tell me you mean a cat." Virgil groaned.

"Yeah. After I got the swelling down I didn't have time to be as careful with the makeup and Lottie made a mess of my usual school clothes so I had to wear my fun clothes. I'm not having fun." Patton explained and flopped onto his desk. He looked exhausted and miserable—Virgil couldn't allow that.

"I have a RedBull if you want it. You look like you need it." 

"You know what that stuff does to you! Energy drinks are bad for you!" Pat whined, not looking up at the emo. Virgil shrugged.

"E made me take it. On the bus. I have a different can of poison." he said as he pulled out a can of Rockstar and cracked it open. The sound made Patton jump and turn to gawk at him as he downed a third of the sickeningly sweet caffeine without batting an eye. 

"Virge!" Pat whined. Virgil glanced at him and set his can down. A crooked smile crossed his face.

"School, crew, and band practice take energy. What can I do? Take a nap when I have to get the chords for 'NJ Legion Iced Tea' down before tomorrow night?—oh, and nice shirt by the way." 

"Oh–" Patton glanced at the A Day to Remember shirt and giggled, "Thanks! I got it when I saw them live a couple years ago. They were amazing!" 

"You should come to our practice. We're doing a tribute to them." Virgil shrugged, "Roman will be there, Logan too." Patton swore he saw him blush, so he grinned and nodded. 

"Yeah, Dad and Doc want me to get out of the house for a bit and I miss live music." He was all too excited to see a live show he forgot one tiny detail.

"Awesome, I'll let E know." Virgil said with a bright grin.

"Ethan?" Patton squeaked.

"Yeah, it's at his place. Is that a problem for you?" Virgil panicked as if he offended Patton in some way, "I know you don't like him. I kinda thought it would be cool to have someone who actually knows the songs there, and I didn't think about—"

"Hey, Virge, deep breaths." Patton cooed. He knew he would be a little awkward with Ethan around but the way Virgil lit up when he agreed just touched him. 

"What time should I be there tomorrow?" 

"Two o'clock. And we're getting pizza after and watching Pirates of the Caribbean if you want to stick around." 

"Ooh! I'll bring cookies!" Patton giggled, making Virgil relax fully. 

"Good morning class!" the teacher called just before the bell rang. At least Virgil was happy.

* * *

Virgil hurried down the crowded hall, absolutely loathing having to push past people. He just wanted to get outside to let Remy and Ethan know he finally did it, he worked up the nerve to invite someone to watch their rehearsal. 

He practically burst outside to the underused refuge, surprised to see only Ethan sitting at the old picnic table by the old oak tree. He looked like a zombie.

"Hey, E, you good?" Virgil called to him and hurried to the table. Ethan glanced at him and sighed. 

"I'm having a dilemma. I was hoping Remy would be here but he has a doctor's appointment, and Remus is playing with dangerous chemicals with Logan and he was no help alone. So you're the only one who gets to hear this disaster in full." Ethan explained as Virgil sat next to him.

"Actually I have something to tell you, it's good news though." 

"Would you like to tell me first just so I can ruin the mood immediately, or would you prefer to let me bemoan my fate and save the day with good news?" 

"Nice try. I'll be quick, alright. I invited a friend to band practice and to hang out after." 

"Really? I'm impressed with your tenacity, but who did you invite to my house?" 

"Patton. I know you don't get along but I thought maybe since we'd all be there it would be okay." 

"You invited  _ him _ !? Virgil of all the people who you could— _ him _ !?" Ethan growled and slammed a fist on the old wooden table.

"Jeez, deep breath, E. I can make sure he stays in his lane. I thought you said I was invite any one person if I could do it. Patton is pretty hype for it."

"You have no idea what you've done." Ethan groaned, "I won't change the nature of our deal, but let me tell you all about my dilemma since it is related." 

"Related?" 

"Oh yes, you see yesterday, while on my way home, I found a stray stuck in a tree. I rescued her and then Patton dragged us both to his house to give her a bath. The storm got worse and the little bootlicker made me stay until it passed. One bitter comment led to another and the next thing I know I have a pair of loose lips devouring mine." 

"You guys made out? And he started it? But—"

"He despises me and I shouldn't have let him because I have a fragile heart and I could mistake the tension as affection? I am well aware of that, hence the dilemma." 

"If you were aware, why didn't you stop him? No one is worth your peace of mind like that." Virgil chided. Ethan rolled his eyes and pouted. 

"I didn't want to. I wanted to kiss him and pretend that maybe, just maybe, I could have the one thing I loathe to want." 

"E you are such a dumbass." Virgil sighed and wrapped and arm around him. E leaned in a slumped against him, in need of a hug. 


	4. The Best of Bros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ trans and hispanic creativitwins? Yup. For reference their mom's Spanish and their dad's Mexican. Mainly because I am not a fan of looking up dialects I'm not familiar with..._  
translations will be in the footnotes

"Patton?" Roman questioned when he arrived at the lunch table. Patton looked up from his sandwich and beamed at him. 

"Heya kiddo! Don't mind the new look, Lottie was really mad at me." he answered the unasked question. Roman sat across from him him and pulled out his lunch–salad, because he liked it and he ate when he got home.

"Why was that fanciful feline upset?" he asked, stabbing at the greens with a fork. He paid the duo approaching no mind, praying they would walk past.

"I'm fostering a kitten, her name's Medusa." Patton said, "She's really sweet and—"

"So that's her name!" Remus cut him off and plopped in the chair next to his brother, "E wouldn't tell me that part!" 

"Greetings, I apologize for our delay." Logan said and sat down next to Patton.

"Wait, you mean Deceit?" Roman questioned, getting a scowl from Remus. Patton winced and nodded.

"He found her, and we brought her to my house to get her cleaned up." 

"And then you went for the kill you sly dog!" Remus teased and wrapped an arm around Roman, "Who knew you had it in you!?" 

"¿Qué haces, mamón?"1 Roman groaned and inched away from him.

"They spent the afternoon making out. According to Remus." Logan clarified. Patton flushed and dropped his head out of shame. Why did Logan have to be so blunt?

"You what!?" Roman gasped, lurching forward over the table, "I thought you hated him!" 

"Hate is a strong word." Patton mumbled. 

"Oh it was all in the heat of the moment!" Remus jeered, "But you're the one who went at it, like a pitbull tied down with silly string!" 

"Remus!" Roman snapped while Patton whimpered.

"If I may, I'd like to discuss something other than Patton's impulsive decisions." Logan cut in as a means to ease Patton's distress. 

"Like what, babe?" Remus cooed making Roman gag and roll his eyes. Logan blinked, unused to getting anyone's attention so quickly. 

"The upcoming project for world history." Logan answered, thinking up something on the spot. 

"Ooh right! You, me, and Virgilicious!" Remus sang. 

"Virgilicious?" Roman groaned, "Why that atrocious nickname?" 

"Virgilicious definition: make Roman go loco. You want his treasures so you get your pleasure from a photo. You could see him, you can't squeeze him. He ain't easy, he and sleazy, he's got reasons why he tease you, princes come and go like seasons. Virgilicious." Remus sang wickedly, making Roman flush red and groan. 

"Remus, the project." Logan distracted him. Roman sighed and looked to Patton. Someone was as humiliated as he was. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Roman asked, knowing what plagued Patton's mind. 

"I don't know, is there anything I can say? I made out with him in the heat of the moment and I started it." Patton sighed, "I should have stopped myself—he kissed back, Ro. I don't know why he would." 

"Do you know why you would?" Roman asked gently.

"I don't know, he was running his mouth and I wanted to shut him up. But then he looked at me with this soft doe-eyed face and I couldn't help myself when he goaded me into kissing him again." Patton pouted and pushed his sandwich aside. Roman pouted and tapped his chin. 

"Why is it so bad you two made out? It's just kissing. It's not as if it's out of romantic feelings." 

"I don't know anymore. He has a sweet side, and he's hot. But he's still him." Patton pouted, "And I agreed to go to Virgil's band practice tonight so I don't have time to figure it out." 

"You don't have to figure it out right away." 

"But I don't wanna be the one who ruins the good mood because I couldn't keep my stupid hormones in check." 

"Patton, if wildly uncontrollable hormones were going to ruin band practice, there would be no band—just look at the drummer!" Roman scoffed and pointed to his twin with his thumb. Remus was making a show of cleaning the vanilla pudding off his spoon, locking eyes with a flushed yet serious Logan.

"Okay but that's different." Patton coughed. 

"You think that's bad you should see the eye sex between him and Scare Bear!" Remus added, causing Roman's face to match his baseball jacket. 

"Remus, please, I wasn't finished explaining the complex mathematics involved in constructing the Roman aqueducts." Logan huffed. Remus sheepishly turned his attention to his boyfriend. 

"Well that's not something I can get used to." Roman huffed, "But romantic tension doesn't deter from the overall experience." 

"I dunno. I don't want to be alone and a stranger in his house."

"Well, you won't be alone, you have Logan, Remy, Virge, and me—" 

"And I!" Logan interjected, making Roman roll his eyes, at least Patton cracked a smile.

"And me!" Remus cackled, only to be silenced by a finger to his lips. Roman facepalmed and whimpered. 

"Thanks, Ro." Patton said, coaxing Roman from his personal misery.

"But of course, Padre! Tonight we'll have a good time and tomorrow evening we'll delve deep over coffee and churros." 

"Isn't that a breakfast food?"

"Not as long as I'm making them." Roman chuckled, "Papá was so happy to see that someone other than Mamá making them, even if he did think I was just doing my best as his daughter." 

"Well you know you'll always be my son shine!" Patton said with a warm smile. He was going to make sure that Roman was loved as Roman and not anyone else.

"You and Mamá." Roman hummed softly as a smile snuck onto his lips, "And of course Remus but he's his own beast." 

"It's the fake stache!" Remus butted in again, this time being silenced by a cheese stick, courtesy of Logan. 

"You need to stop interrupting." Logan growled, making Remus swallow thickly. Roman averted his gaze, lest he witness yet another one of Remus' kinks up close. Patton couldn't blame him, so he made a goofy face, anything to help his best friend, who had been nothing but the best to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 "What are you doing, asshole?"


	5. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _shit hits the fan here right off the bat_

School was out for the day, which meant Virgil and Ethan could walk to the latter's house for practice. Virgil liked walking there, it was calming to be away from the crowds, busses, and confusion. He was lucky Patton was friends with Roman or he might've shown up on the wrong day. Virgil was not a morning person, but as night came closer, he became more aware. He was especially aware of the tension in Ethan's shoulders and the way his usually swift movements became rigid. He hated to have to question him, but Virgil was worried.

"So, how's your grandma?" Virgil asked Ethan as they walked to his house. Ethan shrugged—this was one conversation he would rather avoid. 

"She's been better. The chemo is taking its toll but she's still alive." Ethan answered quietly, "I'd be shocked if she made it to graduation." 

"Oh, shit, E, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—" 

"No, I know you didn't mean to dig up that much detail. I did. Sad but true, I might have to move in with my next of kin." Ethan sighed, "Do let me have the top bunk." 

"I can't tell if you're just venting or trying to mess with me in the sickest possible way." Virgil huffed and sped up, hoping E really was that sick in the head. 

"Oh, I'm venting, just a little. I won't go into detail about her decline or my own. Just know that it's not going to be pretty." Ethan said and brushed past his cousin. With any luck he could hide the weed and get his dear old grandma to bed before anyone else showed. No one had to know how bad it was. Not yet.

He was pleased to see that the usual ash tray on the porch was empty, and even happier when he saw the stair lift was at the top once he got inside. Virgil followed close behind him as he led the way to the kitchen, and then the den. 

"Do you want to set up the garage while I make sure she takes her medicine, or would you prefer to be the medicine boy?" Ethan asked, already knowing the answer—even before Virgil's face lost all color. 

"I'll be down in five." Ethan scoffed and strutted away. Virgil sighed and shook his head. He was glad he wasn't bound by familial responsibility to the poor old woman, but she might as well have been family. He was scared to see her like this—what if it would be like seeing Nonna or Nana like this? He hated to imagine that. 

Instead of dwelling, Virgil went into the garage and opened the garage door. The drums were all set up, and so were the amps. The bass and guitars were on their stands near the folding chairs and they were his target. Always tune your instruments, especially if you're going to have an audience.

Virgil kicked open a chair and picked up the cherry red jazz bass. He always started with Remy's baby on Tuesdays and Fridays, it was the easiest to tune and it saved Remy time he desperately needed. 

As he carefully plucked each string, carefully turning each knob, Virgil let his mind wander. Would today's practice go as planned? It was going to be the last one until November, so he wanted to make it count. It had to go well, he was performing for Roman—and Patton for the first time! They couldn't screw up too much.

He switched out the bass for a sleek ash wood jazzcaster and pouted. Ethan's guitar was always the most annoying to tune because he kept switching keys. Virgil worked carefully and thought about how the last practice went.

It was pretty standard, albeit short, but Remy had to be home by sunset—if Christmas was out for he and Remus, and Samhain was out for Ethan, it was only fair to give Remy a break for Yom Kippur and the other high holy days. 

Virgil managed to get Ethan's guitar done and switched it for his purple Stratocaster. He would take his time with his baby and make sure it was perfect. He wanted it to sound great for Roman. He didn't care how much he blushed, Virgil loved seeing the stars twinkling in his eyes. He wanted Roman to look at him the same way he watched the star on stage. 

He set his guitar down just as a familiar face walked into the open garage. Logan had ditched the usual polo and tie for a tardis tee and a jacket. 

"Greetings, Virgil," Logan said as he moved to set up two more chairs, "I am excited to see how having Patton present will affect the dynamic." 

"You know," Virgil grunted and stood up, "You could always say you're happy Patton's coming today. Phrasing it that way is just gonna throw me off." 

"It shouldn't. Knowing Remus and his usual commentary, you should be fine." Logan shrugged. He always spoke in a certain manner that Virgil was familiar with, and unfortunately he couldn't always catch himself before making Virgil nervous. At least he made the attempt.

"Remus sings his own remix of 'Fergalicious' to annoy me and probably Roman." Virgil retorted. He hoped that Remus didn't just sing it around him because of his dumb crush, but he couldn't be sure.

"He certainly does." Logan winced, "I've spoken to him about certain subjects to avoid with the threat of no cuddling." 

"You mean yesterday with the cat and stuff?" Virgil asked, to which Logan nodded. Virgil cringed and shook his head. 

"E would murder him." 

"Would he?"

"Yeah. E is an emotional wreck. And the last thing he needed was to give in and swap spit with Patton. So I guess I should be thanking you for threatening Remus—in a non-threatening way." Virgil explained, correcting his word choice too quickly. Logan adjusted his glasses and sighed. He was not the best with these situations. 

"We can only hope that things will run smoothly when the others arrive." Logan said and offered a small smile. He was right. 

"With both twins in the same space, you hope for far too much." Ethan said as he stepped into the garage. His face was blotchy and red, and his eyes were just a little bit puffy. 

"You have a point, Ethan. And if you don't mind me saying, the eyedrops certainly helped this time." Logan commented, only to find himself under Virgil's death-glare. 

"Thank you, Logan, your suggestion was most appreciated." Ethan sighed, and shot a death glare at Virgil, "Now then. I believe we're waiting for the insanity." Virgil shrugged and averted his gaze. Ethan might have been crying before but he always did bounce back quickly–quickly enough to make Virgil worry. They had other things to worry about.


	6. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _heads up, you're about to meet my oc, try not to get attached_

Patton hurried down the street with a baggie of chocolate chunk cookies in his hands. He was a little nervous, but Doc sent him on his way with some of their infamous baked goods and good wishes, so he couldn't turn back.

He came upon the small house at the end of the next block and squared his shoulders. He could do this. He would have fun with his friends and he wouldn't be hit with his guilt and confusion. The garage was open and the sound of Roman groaning out of frustration. 

"If you aren't going to bind at least wear a sports bra under your tank top!" Roman groaned as he stepped into the garage.

"NIP SLIP!" Remus screeched before Patton got hit in the face with a shirt.

"Or is it?" he added with an impish giggle.

"Remus, while none of us has an issue with your build, we do live in a society." Ethan hummed, "And you're making Logan want to commit a felony." Patton peeled the shirt off his face and cleared his throat, glancing at Logan, who was beet red. 

"Pattycake!" Remus cheered and skipped up to Patton in only his sneakers and booty shorts, bouncing with each step. Patton handed him the shirt and glanced around the garage. Roman was hunched over in his seat hiding his face while Remy tried to comfort him. Virgil stood by the drums, adjusting the mic and ignoring the chaos, and Ethan was near the drums on the other side, eyeing Patton and the bag of cookies in his hands. 

"Hey, Pat!" Virgil greeted while he adjusted the stand.

"Heya kiddos!" Patton chuckled awkwardly. He was not liking the way Ethan's eyes bore into him. 

"Patton." Logan said, staring at the floor pointedly while Remus refused to dress.

"Hey gurl! I'm saying hi for Princey too because he's too humiliated for words." Remy laughed, causing Roman to let out a dramatic whine.

"Remus, would you be a dear and show Patton to the kitchen? We both know you have the proper garments for today and you will wear them." Ethan commented. 

"Awww c'mon! Why do I have to?" Remus whined. 

"Because you're trying to put Logan in a position that would be terrible for his record. Save your tricks for June!" Ethan snarled, not in the mood to put up with this. Remus pouted and grabbed Patton's wrist, leading him inside.

"Stupid laws, I just want to love my nerd." Remus grumbled and closed the door behind him. He thumbed to the door to his left with a pout.

"I left my clothes and soap in here. Kitchen is the open area to your left. Can't miss it." 

"Is it because the cookies?" Patton asked with a head tilt. Remus shrugged and slunk into the bathroom without a solid answer. Patton assumed yes. Ethan wouldn't want him in the house alone for no reason.

Patton made his way to the kitchen, ignoring the familiar scent in the air. He tried to focus on the photos on the wall instead as he tread carefully in a home that was more suitable for an old woman and he didn't know the reason for any of it.

When he entered the kitschy kitchen, he understood immediately why. Sitting at the plain table, in a loose floral dress, was a frail old woman with piercing blue eyes hidden behind thick glasses. She stared at him for a moment while he froze on the spot. And then she smiled at him. 

"Hello, you must be Virgil's friend." she said with a soft wavering voice. Patton visibly relaxed and nodded. 

"Yes Ma'am. I'm Patton Picani and it's a pleasure to meet you." he offered her his brightest, most genuine smile. Her eyes went wide for a moment before her calm demeanor returned.

"I'm Mrs. McGinnis, but you can call me Dottie, all of Ethan's little friends do." 

"Dottie? Alrighty! Thank you. You have a lovely home." 

"Thank you. Why don't you have a seat and relax for a minute." she suggested and motioned to an empty chair. He graciously took a seat and noticed the walker not far away, but he didn't need to comment on it. 

"So, Patton, I've heard an awful lot about you." Dottie mused, "A model student who's heart's in the right place, who might have a lapse in judgement on occasion." Patton shrank in on himself and averted his gaze. Dottie chuckled softly.

"Now, now there's no need to be embarrassed. Everyone makes mistakes. Like my foolish grandson. He never mentioned you were such a handsome young man!" 

"Well that's very kind of you, thank you." 

"It's just the truth, Padin." Dottie hummed, "I know you have to go back to your friends and I won't keep you, but I have a question I ask all of Ethan's guests."

"Oh? I'd be happy to answer to the best of my knowledge, but before you do, is there a place I can put these cookies? I thought it would be nice to bring a snack for everyone, including you if you'd like." 

"How thoughtful! You can leave them on the table. I might have just one later, or maybe just a chunk." she smirked at him, watching his face light up.

"Oh sheet!" Patton giggled, "That was a good one!" 

"I'm drawing a blank, but I'm glad I could make you snickerdoodle." she teased. Patton snickered and shook his head. 

"I can't think of anything that wouldn't be crummy, but you have a question."

"Is Ethan doing okay? I worry about him. He's such a sensitive boy." Patton internally cringed under her worried, wisened gaze. 

"As far as I can tell he seems to be doing fine." he answered honestly. She relaxed and nodded.

"I'm glad to hear. He's one tough cookie." she smiled, "Thank you Padin. You should probably get back to your friends. But do feel free to stop and chat again in the future." 

"It's been a pleasure, Dottie. I'm sure you'll see me again, with puns like those, it'll be hard to stay a wafer long!" Patton said as he got up. Dottie chuckled and waved him off. Patton waved and headed back to the garage, bumping into a flushed, dazed, and glowing Remus on his way out. 

"You met Dottie." Remus commented, and Patton nodded. Remus immediately sobered up and frowned. 

"Don't tell Ethan she was out of bed." Remus hissed, "Or we're all gonna suffer." Patton paled and cautiously followed Remus out to join the rest of the group.


	7. How Long Until the Tables Turn

"Took you long enough, boo boo!" Remy cooed when Patton and Remus emerged. Remus laughed and brushed past Patton to get situated at the drums. Patton shrank into himself and scurried to the empty seat next to Roman. He didn't like the way Ethan and Virgil were staring at him. 

"Alright, now that we're all here, let's begin." Ethan said to his band. 

"What are we starting with?" Remus asked as he pulled out his drumsticks. 

"NJ Legion Iced Tea." Virgil grunted, "Since we've been kicking our asses over it." He didn't miss the way Patton lit up at the mention of the song. Neither did Ethan, but only one guitarist was conflicted. 

But when Virgil played the opening notes, that conflict had to be set aside. The rest of the band joined in. Patton had stars in his eyes as one of his favorite songs filled the air. 

"Get up! Get out! This is your wake up call!" Virgil sang with far more energy than Patton expected. It was quite a shift—from the soft blase rumbling to the full storm raging. He listened as Virgil continued but his eyes drifted to the duo to his left. Poor Logan was stuck supporting Roman as he leaned over to stare at his purple-clad knight. He was silently swooning in admiration and it was just so cute. 

And then there was Remy, chill and out of place with his bass, still keeping up with the others and kicking ass with his sunglasses on, not even looking at his instrument. Patton wished he were that cool. He was vibrating in his seat trying not to sing along or dance. It was only the first song! 

"Try to be careful what you say!" the backing vocals shocked Patton from his hype.

"Give it up, your tact is astounding!" Virgil followed, but it was too late—Patton was mesmerized by the other lanky guitarist. Ethan had no right to sound so damn good. His voice was way too smooth and he came in so effortlessly. It was not okay to do that and make Patton's heart stutter. 

A blush rose to his face as he watched Ethan perform. He was so focused, but his usual pout was gone. There wasn't an ounce of bitterness in his expression, no snideness in his smile. He was at peace and genuinely happy. Patton swore he was going to get hit with some strong gay urges if he kept watching Ethan play, but he couldn't tear his gaze away. 

Ethan was well aware that he was the star of the show in someone's eyes this time. He had to ignore the warm feeling bubbling up in his chest. He couldn't let false hope and a fragile heart ruin the practice. He envied Remy's cool when he was in the spotlight. He envied the way Roman stared at Virgil and more so how Virgil had such an entranced audience. He envied Remus, who was too focused on the drums to even notice that he had an audience. He envied his grandma, who he was sure was in bed, the one place he wanted to be. 

"So here's to another banner year, I hope you're happy with yourself!" Virgil sang the last line and let the music fade out. 

It was Logan who started clapping first, only to be drowned out by Patton cheering and jumping to his feet, singing his praises for everyone, even if Ethan was the center of his attention. Roman was the quiet one, staring at Virgil slack-jawed and in awe. 

"Oh my gosh that was amazing!" Patton squealed, "Remy, you were so cool and you held that rhythm perfectly! Oh my gosh Remus, you were incredible! I've never seen better timing!" Remy tilted his chin in recognition, playing it cool while internally preening from the attention. Remus, sweaty and red-faced already, was glowing with pride. 

"And Virge!" Patton squealed, "I didn't know you could sing like that! You could go toe to toe with Gerard Way!" Virgil went pink and shook his head—the accent was not enough justification for that kind of comparison.

"And Ethan, you did awesome too! You really have talent with that guitar!" Patton kept gushing, though he was trying to hold back. Ethan offered him a courtesy smirk and tried to ignore the way his heart ached. Of course Patton would force himself to compliment him after complementing the others. He couldn't be outright rude, heavens no, not in this society! 

"Any requests from the audience?" Remy asked, staring directly and Roman. 

"Ooh! Ooh! I have a request!" Patton cheered. Remy rolled his eyes behind his shades but said nothing. Virgil didn't see the way Roman sagged in his seat when he looked to Patton with a smile. Patton certainly saw it.

"Whatcha wanna hear, popstar?" 

"'Mr. Highway's Thinking About the End' if you know it." Patton said with a bright grin. 

"We can do that—" 

"No we can't. It's not going to be up to standard vocally." Ethan cut in with a sneer, "Neither of us has mastered screaming and I for one will not damage my voice and become a DJ." 

"I can just sing it. It doesn't have to be exactly like the original, right Pat?" Virgil said, looking to Patton for some input. 

"You can't scream?" Patton asked, bewildered, "You don't have to, but I can teach you later if you want."

"You can scream?" Roman gawked at him, "Without damaging your voice?" 

"Yeah. I've been training with Doc for a few years. They used to be really into old screamo stuff." Patton shrugged, "That's how they met Dad. We're all secretly emo." 

"Ooh! I wanna hear!" Remus cheered, "Can you do the opening to that one?" Patton shrugged and looked to the rest of the band. He didn't want to show them up, especially since it was his first time at a band practice. 

"Let's hear it." Remy said, staring down Ethan, challenging him to say no. He would be the only one who would be against it, and frankly Remy was not having it. Bitch wanted to hear a good scream!

"Fine. But not in the mic." Ethan ceded.

"Can you hit me with the intro?" Patton beamed and rubbed his throat. Virgil nodded and started playing the opening chord. Ethan and Remus joined in, because it was good practice and it would sound better that way. 

Patton squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. He was so ready! 

"Wake up!" A raspy screech erupted from his throat just as the first breakdown hit. Logan stared at him curiously as the band continued. He had to wonder if they heard him, Roman certainly did. His jaw hit the ground. Sweet lovable Patton sounded like a monster! 

"Oh, how the times have changed! You're not the person I knew back then! Let's get this straight! This is a calling! When will they stop falling for this?" Patton roared as if it were second nature. The bass went quiet as did the drums. The guitars faded out as Virgil and Ethan gawked at the ball of sunshine erupting like a solar flare. 

"You lack all inspiration!" Patton continued, only to stop at the sound of silence, "—Too much?" he giggled sheepishly and sat down. All eyes were on him and he was not liking it—he wasn't supposed to get any attention during the practice.

"You are definitely teaching me how to do that." Virgil gawked. Remus was too slack jawed and awed to make any sort of commentary. Remy lowered his sunglasses to stare at Patton in disbelief. Ethan was bright red and averting his gaze—god he was cute and hot! 

"Sure thing! But for now, I think Roman had a request." Patton deflected sheepishly. Roman offered him a silent 'thank you' and directed his attention to Virgil. 

"What'll it be, Princey?" Virgil asked, bringing the rest of the band back. They all knew what Roman was going to say and they couldn't wait to see Virgil's reaction. 

"'You Had Me at Hello'" Roman answered shyly. Virgil went beet red. The sappiest song ADTR had written to date, and Tom wanted Virgil to sing it? They were both lucky Logan was holding Patton back. It was going to be a long, emotionally trying practice. At least the movie later would be calmer.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   * [The song Patton screams](https://youtu.be/syuXEgyBYmE)
>   * [The song Roman requested](https://youtu.be/1LeYixVlLe0)


	8. Pirates and Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look an update for the first time in forever

So then I said, 'Boo-boo step off before I break your fugly face!' But did boo-boo listen?" Remy recounted to the twins about his last concert encounter. Roman and Remus were entranced by the tale. They were hogging the couch while Logan and Ethan set up the movie. Virgil and Patton were in the kitchen getting snacks. 

"No and the rest of the pit was on my side. You don't say that kind of thing, especially around a bunch of beefy hairy metalheads," Remy continued, "But baldy didn't think and he swung at my Israeli ass, so I decked him, an uppercut to the nose. Blood everywhere!"

"Remy, while I applaud your clout against homophobic antisemities," Ethan grunted and stood with four DVDs in hand, "I am going to ask you to change the subject under this roof." 

"Oh shoot! Dottie! My bad Thaniel!" Remy gasped. Remus and Roman shared a look and shivered. They didn't want a repeat of the last incident. Logan shuddered at the memory.

"It is fortunate that she is in bed right now," Logan commented, "she wouldn't have heard much of anything. Let's move on and enjoy the set of films."

"Enjoy them after you see me out, boo." Remy hummed, "You know I can't stick around Friday nights!"

"Aw, again!?" Remus whined, "But you're gonna miss the orgy!" 

"And that," Remy lowered his sunglasses at him, "Is exactly why I am walking to temple tomorrow!" Remus pouted and fluttered his lashes cutely. 

"Than, wanna show me the door?" Remy asked while staring down Remus. Ethan rolled his eyes and brushed past Remy to lead him to the front door. Remy winked at the twins and blew a kiss before following E.

"Later LoLo—don't forget to condition! Ciao Virgey you greasy sonofabitch! Bye Patton—play nice!" he shouted. Ethan cringed and thought of his poor grandma while they went to the front, passing the kitchen where Virgil was helping Patton plate his cookies.

"Am I greasy right now?" Virgil asked and curled into himself. Patton looked him up and down and shook his head, 

"Not particularly. No more than anyone else who just got through band practice." Patton shrugged as he worked. Virgil huffed and crossed the kitchen to get the popcorn started. 

"Does he always do that?" Patton questioned as he arranged the cookies on a plate. 

"Yeah, he doesn't realize that some of the shit he says isn't friendly. I'm sure you know how that is,” Virge mused. Patton knew Virgil was talking about Roman, the boy had a way of speaking without thinking. 

“Roman never goes that far, suggesting things that might be kinda on the racist side.”

“Logan asked for the reminders specifically because he does forget, and I know Remy isn’t implying my grease is the Argentine side, I don't think he even remembers that detail. I don’t like being greasy, it feels gross. To an outsider I guess it looks kinda bad, but it really isn’t.”

“I didn’t know you were Argentine.” Patton mused and set the last cookie down. It was such a pretty display.

“We both are, thanks to Nonna,” Ethan hummed upon his return, “She has a strong connection to her own foreign heritage.” He glanced to Virgil, and then to Patton with that horrible smirk that made him look like an adorable imp. 

“Do take your time, we only have four movies to finish by one.” he added, his gaze landing on Patton, who was flushed and indignant, and too cute for Ethan to handle. 

“Take the cookies out, I’ll bring the popcorn when it’s ready. Feel free to start without me. I don’t wanna watch Remus drool over Kiera Knightly too much.” Virgil scoffed. Remus was his best friend, but even he needed some space when the queen of young wlw awakenings was on screen!

Patton entered the room with the plate of cookies and saw the DVD menu on screen. Logan was seated on the far end of the couch and his lap was taken by Remus, the excitable scamp, the poor nerd was going to have a tough time. Roman sat next to them, leaving space for when Logan decided he wanted to feel his legs, and there was room behind Roman where he expected Virgil to sit. That left Ethan perched on the arm rest and a seat for Patton. Of course he would have to sit near Ethan, the universe was just that cruel to his confused heart!

He set the cookies on the coffee table and gingerly sat on the edge of the couch. Roman raised an eyebrow at him, as if to ask why so tense? Patton couldn't look him in the eye. He could always claim he didn't want to look at Remus snatching a ton of cookies like a blue muppet right behind him. 

Ethan could practically feel the tension slamming into his side like a charging bull, over and over. This would be a  _ fun _ evening. 

He pressed play on the remote and leaned over Patton to get a cookie or five—At least there was some good coming out of having yet another guest. If only Patton didn't go rigid while he leaned over. That would have been polite! 

Patton couldn't help but freeze up. Ethan was so close and it made his heart thunder in his chest. The scent of his laundry detergent was dizzying and the proximity was enough to distract him from the opening scene. 

"Watch out Pat," Virgil said as he set the popcorn bowl on the table. Patton scooted closer to Ethan, much to his chagrin, and let Virgil climb onto the couch, situating himself behind Roman. Patton was rigid as ever as he pressed against Ethan's side. 

He was too busy freaking out about the contact to notice Ethan's reaction. He was blushing like crazy and staring at him instead of Johnny Depp rescuing Kiera Knightly. His heart was racing and Patton wasn't moving. Virgil was watching him stew with a wry smirk.

It was going to be a long night.


	9. Not a chapter

Hey so if you're reading this, I want to apologize but I will not be continuing this fic. I have my reasons and I appreciate you getting this far and to all the people who were excited to keep reading, thank you for sticking with this up til now.


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